Tale of the Cave

Tale of the Cave

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2 3  All   Go Down

Author Topic: No Matter what  (Read 2178 times)

Endless

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 46
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Mwuhahahahaha?
    • View Profile
No Matter what
« on: October 10, 2007, 07:08:04 PM »
 Intro: Long ago in a land called Rishis, a boy named Marchen was born. Unlike any other child in the world of Tigo, a deadly demon chose Marchen to be his host. During birth Marchen's mother died. Marchen never came to fully understand, but his father blamed everything on the demon who inhabited the child at birth. A group over ruled by an immortal warlord sought out to kill Marchen. Thus Marchen lost his father as he tried to protect Marchen. In his father's dying words he was told to seek out other demon infested children. As Marchen tried to do that he was sold into slavery. And that's where 11 year old Marchen's story first begins.



Chapter One:

 "You pathetic moron! 13 is more than 10!!!!! I told you to haggle it for lower NOT HIGHER!!!!!!" Rhonda, Marchen's slave master yelled. Her fist slammed into the 11 year old's jaw. Marchen coughed out a little blood. Rhonda instantly froze staring at the blood in raw fear. She had been told never, EVER make the rust coloured hair boy bleed. In any way only use torments to harm but not bleed. Thanks to that slave seller(A/N: JERK!!!!) Marchen had a bruised eye, a broken arm, a sprained ankle and a very bruised neck. Marchen's amber eyes seemed to glow as he looked into Rhonda's eyes.
"That hurt," Marchen stated, his jaw wasn't dislocated even with the force of the punch. Rhonda's fear started to go away but suddenly Marchen gave out a blood curdling scream of pure terror with a mix of pain. Rhonda stared as he fell to the ground holding his arms around his chest, his breathing shallow. His back showed absurd movements other than trembling. It was as if something was growing out of it. Rhonda bit back a scream as enormus wings unfurled from his back. He gasped in pain as his body lifted from the ground by the force of the wings lifting him. Marchen suddenly realised he could'nt control the wings. He stood shakily on his feet.
"Marchen are you...alright?" Rhonda asked trying not to scream and run from him. His eyes widened at her voice. He looked up at Rhonda, she was practically wetting herself staring at Marchen in terror. Marchen opened his mouth to speak but coughed out blood instead. A searing pain raked through his body causing him to give an anguished scream. He felt arms wrap around him, causing him to relax through the unbearable pain. His wings retracted causing his body to jerk backwards he fell out of Rhonda's grasp when he did that, careening backwards. A sharp pain shot through his head as the back of his head nailed the sharp, rock corner of counter. He fell as blakness shrouded his eyes giving in to the black. Rhonda stared at the limp, unconcious body of Marchen, her slave, lying in pool of blood. His blood.


*******************************************

 Rhonda awoke the next morning to a groan of pain from the next room. Rhonda sat up instantly, the memories of the day before flooded her mind.
"Marchen!" she practially yelled. She raced to his room seeing Marchen sitting up rubbing his head.
"It hurts!" he screamed falling forwards landing in Rhonda's arms. She had never been so nice to a slave. She was about to ask what hurts when she saw his sheet was covered in blood. Not his pillow as she had expected, his sheet. She stared at his back seeing it covered in blood when she had specifically changed him last night. She held him until he stopped trembling.
"Are you okay, Marchen?" Rhonda asked shivering in fear.
"No, your squeezing me and I have a headache not to mention my back is experiencing a hell of a lot of pain, but other than that I think I'm all right," Marchen stated coldly while Rhonda loosened her arms.
"The slave sellers are coming today," Rhonda murmured.
"Planning on buying a torture victim?"
"No, I'm selling you," The news was like a slap in the face for Marchen, he was being sold. They talked less than any other day. She didn't even bother a word of command. But evening came and she dragged Marchen to the slave sellers.
"I'd like to sell my slave or on second thought, you fine looking man he's free," Rhonda said pushing Marchen into him and sprinting into her house. Slamming the door behind her.
"Well, new slave time to join the others,"
"Not so fast, slave seller," a man said stepping forward. Five other men stepped up behind him.
"He's mine she just gave him to me now leave,"
"No, we also want Racones, and Rameses," they said walking forwards.
"I sold em a couple towns back," the slave seller said noticing the streets were totally empty.
"No you didn't in fact look, there they are," he said pointing to two other slaves being held by two men each. Marchen stared at the struggling boys. He had to do something. Three men grabbed Marchen, well to be correct two of them grabbed Marchen, the other started beating on Marchen. Marchen cringed at every blow made to his chest, face and stomach. Finally the man who beating on Marchen struck him straight on the nose. Marchen's eyes widened as a drop of his blood landed on the ground. Marchen suddenly let out a blood curdling, banshee like scream. All but Marchen dropped to ground covering their ears. The twelve(A/N: Yes twelve, if you can't do word math) captors felt a gush of wind plow into them. The cap tors looked up to see everyone was there but the three boys.









Heck yes! I tried to spell everything right people. I was reading Fan Fictions when I noticed people kept on spelling stared, staring, straight and unfurled wrong. Get a brain. Also I got really annoyed when they spelt Deidara's name wrong and made him say "yeah" or "hey" IT'S FRICKEN "un" NOT HEY NOT YEAH IT'S UN!!!!!!! Anyways they also made it so you would have to guess what words went where! They left freaking gaps! I swear if your going to make a 45 chapter fan fiction about Naruto and Gaara killing people DON'T LEAVE FREAKING SPACES!!!!!!!!!!! I HATED HAVING TO TRY TO THINK WHAT THE F*** WENT THERE!!!! Seriously like Kakashi saying, "He will say that he said he d me but he does as a father." or the time Ryouu said," Ok it's time to f, so let's go to the spring," OK I DIDN'T WANT THAT MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!! IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!!! Seriously if your going to write 45 f***ing chapters don't skip IMPORTANT PHRASES!!!! THERE WERE ROUGHLY 25 SKIPPED PHRASES IN EACH F***ING CHAPTER!!!!!! Anyways enjoy the story!
« Last Edit: October 10, 2007, 07:09:47 PM by Sabaku No Gaara »
Logged
<3 /l、
 ゙(゚、 。 7                 
  l、゙ ~ヽ
  じしf_, )ノ

RedAxie

  • Not so bright
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1124
  • Alignment: Chaotic Good
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2007, 07:16:53 PM »
"Un" is a sound, used mostly by Japanese characters in anime/ people / Whitey to represent agreement, or the words "what" or "yes"

If the fan fiction you were reading was in English, then the author made a proper translation.

It's pretty good so far. Reminds me a leeetle bit of Naruto, but nonetheless good.
Logged

We are the control. We keep you safe. We are your hope.

Endless

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 46
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Mwuhahahahaha?
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2007, 10:07:19 PM »
i know what its translated to duh! i watch the freaking japanese version! but it sounds better as "un" still. do u watch the japanese version? im at where chiyo is bringing gaara back to life. i don't read the manga. it leaves out the whole episode 206 - 219 battle which is where gaara saves matsuri. i type their japanese names therefore i get yelled at cause the people have no clue what the f*** i'm talking about. '-.-

Satoshi=Ash
Hikari=Dawn

see what i mean...yes they may be from pokemon but still. i laugh at the english suffering my japanese name torment!!! SERIOUSLY MISSING PHRASES!!!! 45 FREAKING CHAPTERS OF MISSING PHRASES!!!!
Logged
<3 /l、
 ゙(゚、 。 7                 
  l、゙ ~ヽ
  じしf_, )ノ

Chevalier-Ange

  • Your Fallen Angel evermore...
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1531
  • Alignment: Lawful Good
  • Through the Fire and The Flames...
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2007, 10:14:04 PM »
Ok...both of you...Please don't start flaming, and really, leave the derogatory remarks to each other off the forum ok.  Thank you.
Logged

 
Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

RedAxie

  • Not so bright
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1124
  • Alignment: Chaotic Good
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2007, 10:19:43 PM »
Okay, CA.

Just so ya know, Gaara, I try not to watch anything thats on English TV.

Except Lazy Town.

But if it's on TV around here, I try not to watch it, even if there are subs of the Japanese.
Logged

We are the control. We keep you safe. We are your hope.

BlackCat

  • Leo, Godess of the Bored
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 504
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
  • Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2007, 04:12:59 AM »
hm... intriguing. I'd like to see how the rest will turn out <3
Logged
"Around here, we put the FUN in dysFUNctional."

<<<::Back From Hiatus. Nice To See You All::>>>

Endless

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 46
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Mwuhahahahaha?
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2007, 02:57:11 PM »
i wanna know too!!! writers block!
Logged
<3 /l、
 ゙(゚、 。 7                 
  l、゙ ~ヽ
  じしf_, )ノ

BlackCat

  • Leo, Godess of the Bored
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 504
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
  • Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2007, 05:45:18 PM »
lawl. It'll come to you soon hopefully!
Logged
"Around here, we put the FUN in dysFUNctional."

<<<::Back From Hiatus. Nice To See You All::>>>

Endless

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 46
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Mwuhahahahaha?
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2007, 07:31:48 AM »
i just thought of it!!!!

crap, someone needs to post cause i ain't double posting
Logged
<3 /l、
 ゙(゚、 。 7                 
  l、゙ ~ヽ
  じしf_, )ノ

OnewingedDragon

  • Through the Fire and Flames...
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1266
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
  • I'm pleased to note I may going insane.
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2007, 07:42:19 AM »
Since it is a writing thread of yours, you are allowed to double post.
Logged

Endless

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 46
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Mwuhahahahaha?
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2007, 07:50:20 AM »
huh never thought of that anyways its almost time for me to go school so i will most likely update after school or whenever they send me home for head lice. i mean seriously i've had head lice for about 5 days now! whats the point in sending the kid home if they have head lice? they don't physically or mentally affect the kid atleast to my knowledge. i mean i wrote that awesome first chapter and all. anyway its about time for school. grr so many bomb threats yet no one blows up Mill Street Centennial School. ugh i hate mill. oh yea i will posting the second chapter by today or tomarrow but before the weekend is over i will have the third chapter up i promise! none of you mind i have headlice right?
Logged
<3 /l、
 ゙(゚、 。 7                 
  l、゙ ~ヽ
  じしf_, )ノ

Endless

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 46
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Mwuhahahahaha?
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2007, 04:41:53 PM »
i gave the name of mill to my hopes that one of u is a pyro maniac and blow up or burn down mill peferrably burn down cause i live within a 5 block radius of it and if i die u'll never finish the story!
Logged
<3 /l、
 ゙(゚、 。 7                 
  l、゙ ~ヽ
  じしf_, )ノ

OnewingedDragon

  • Through the Fire and Flames...
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1266
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
  • I'm pleased to note I may going insane.
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2007, 04:45:00 PM »
Off topic and not funny. If you would like to continue the story then by all means go ahead. However, if you continue with posts like the one above you will be officially reprimaned.
Logged

Endless

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 46
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil
  • Mwuhahahahaha?
    • View Profile
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2007, 05:16:01 PM »
fine sorry im in the midst of chpt 2 ok u get to learn more about those two slaves marchen kidnapped.
Logged
<3 /l、
 ゙(゚、 。 7                 
  l、゙ ~ヽ
  じしf_, )ノ

Mike Caron

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1243
  • Alignment: Chaotic Good
  • I do say, squee.
    • View Profile
    • WWW
Re: No Matter what
« Reply #14 on: October 12, 2007, 06:17:57 PM »
Off topic and not funny. If you would like to continue the story then by all means go ahead. However, if you continue with posts like the one above you will be officially reprimaned.

You are allowed to reprimand in 5% increments. A threat is pointless if it's always "Grr, next time I mean it!"
Pages: [1] 2 3  All   Go Up
« previous next »
 

Page created in 0.135 seconds with 16 queries.