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Author Topic: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night  (Read 1630 times)

Nemesis

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Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« on: November 22, 2007, 05:22:32 PM »
Hi ya'll... So I figured it was high time that I started posting my stories and poems for you to see and hopefully critique (but not too meanly  ;)) I honestly hope that you enjoy what I have to say and I look forward to reading what you have to say.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2007, 10:10:07 PM by Nemesis »
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2007, 05:24:58 PM »
Fallen Angel

He sat on the crumbling edge, feet dangling into space. Hunchbacked in his coat, one hand resting in the dirt the other propping his chin up, his eyes remained closed as he heard footsteps behind him. He cracked a lid enough to see a set of small feet come to a stop beside him.

"How are you?" She asked

"I'm upset and angry, but you knew that," He replied sharply.

"I know but I thought it would be nice to ask. Considerate, but right now that word isn't even in your vocabulary, huh?"

"I just know that there is something else I can do, something more I need to do and I just don't have enough time."

She sat next to the man, his large to her small, his light to her dark. He looked over at her, a tiny dark haired girl. She looked so small to him, dressed in black and red, and she likewise had a black coat that was beginning to make her look hunched.

"So what's going to happen now?" he asked.

"For you, nothing, you don't need to fight anymore. It's my turn."

She stood and began to walk away from him farther down the cliff edge. He began to stand up and all of a sudden he was falling. The coat fell off and beneath it laid a pair of wings, made of light and joy and happiness. They snapped out but they couldn't stop his fall. Wondering why as the ground came closer and closer he heard her whisper: Because of your anger, and your lack of faith in me. I will see you again soon. Be safe, my Angel.


This is just a jumping off point for a story that's rolling around in my brain... more to be added later
« Last Edit: November 24, 2007, 10:11:17 PM by Nemesis »
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BlackCat

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Re: Poems and Stories by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2007, 02:05:04 AM »
mmhmm the part with the wings was a little vague, maybe you should adda little more detail?
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2007, 03:08:29 AM »
mmhmm the part with the wings was a little vague, maybe you should adda little more detail?

The idea was to be a little vague because it shall be explained in the story.. but how exactly are you defining vague here?
« Last Edit: November 24, 2007, 10:11:54 PM by Nemesis »
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2007, 03:25:20 AM »
So I'm posting a series of poems I wrote about two years ago or so.... I had no idea I was so emo though...  :-\

2.1.2005
Poetic symphony

She sang a poetic symphony
Then whispered in my ear
All sodden eyes caked in blurry tears
She gazed at me with her fanciful imagination
She gave me wings that raised me up
She gave me power that made me strong
I clung to her like a fearful child
Terrified that she would leave me behind
Her interminable beauty
The sway she had over all and yet the oblivion of her freedom
She did not see herself drifting away
I gazed at her with sodden eyes caked in blurry tears
The pallor of death set within her skin
Her interminable beauty enhanced by that pallor
Asleep
She slept and dreamt priceless dreams
She knew our darkest secrets and our deepest desires
And still she slept
Her beauty fading away like a scent on the wind
Fleeting, yet powerful enough to move mountains
As the beauty faded I again heard her whisper
I'll sing a poetic symphony about my winged pet
I'll tell them that she raised me up and carried me away
The power that I gave her set me adrift on the winds of time
And now I see I cling to her, as she once clung to me
She sang in her poetic symphony
« Last Edit: November 24, 2007, 10:12:51 PM by Nemesis »
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Poems and Stories by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2007, 06:39:14 AM »
I really like that poem. I'm trying to figure out though, if it's from the perspective of Daughter to Mother, ie. Nemesis to Nyx, or from a male perspective.  Either way works well ^^
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2007, 09:54:22 PM »
His and Hers

His perspective:

I can't take this from you
I don't want this from you
You can't do this to me
You can't control me
This frustration and anger consumes me
I'm sorry
Please don't cry
I can't take this from you
Don't be those phone calls
I don't want this from you
Don't force me to heel
You can't do this to me
You won't make me guilty
YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME

Her perspective:

Tell me what you want from me
Give me anything to do
Keep me busy and by your side
And I'll never hinder you
My poor heart wrapped in your grasp
Crush it if you please
I would end the world with my very hands
To give you what you need

stupid ex's....
« Last Edit: November 24, 2007, 10:13:21 PM by Nemesis »
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Re: Poems and Stories by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2007, 10:07:04 PM »
stupid ex's....

Indeed, aren't they all?  Otherwise, they wouldn't be ex's now would they  :P

Very nice.  :)
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

BlackCat

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2007, 02:11:39 AM »
The idea was to be a little vague because it shall be explained in the story.. but how exactly are you defining vague here?

sorry, late reply. um... vague as in i was a little confused. but that might just be me >.> anyhow nice work with the poems
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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2007, 01:37:41 PM »
So I'm posting a series of poems I wrote about two years ago or so.... I had no idea I was so emo though...  :-\

I did.

Well done nonetheless.
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2007, 02:19:30 AM »
Another relatively old one... but it was resonating with me over the last few days.

Lost

Lost in the rhythm, the beat, the pulse
Pulls me towards the center
The internal climax of sound
The throbbing heat of the crescendo
It sucks me into it's upward spiral
Engulfs me, caresses me, ravages me
Ripped from one side to the next
An ever-living entity of sound
The pulse wreaks havoc on my heart
The rhythm stops...
Beat
Soft at first
Beat
And rises again
Beat
The final climax of sound, the ultimate crescendo
Beat
Blasted from the here and now
Surrounded in the mind shattering sounds
Then the blissful peace of oblivion
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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2007, 09:30:29 AM »
That's very deep of you. Very nice.

But it helps if you turn the bass down.
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2007, 10:59:55 PM »
Ah, but the bass makes all the difference my friend.

A very nice piece Nemmi ^^ I like it muchly
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2007, 11:18:23 PM »
My Friend
 
In the heart of a friend beats a shadow of your own
 
A friend who’s shoulder is there when you cry
 
Who cries when she laughs because of your silly antics
 
A friend who will tell you that she loves you even when she’s pissed
 
A friend who knows your mad even though you’re smiling on the outside
 
A friend who is also a sister
 
She will kick your ass when you deserve it
 
She will rub your back when you need it
 
She will give you her love even when you don’t ask for it
 
This friend is more than a friend
 
More like an extension of your self
 
The essence you carry inside is influenced and effected by her
 
You know when she is down because so are you
 
You know when she is happy because so are you
 
You know when she want’s to beat the crap out of someone.. probably because of you
 
She will be in your heart forever



Dedicated to my Nikki
« Last Edit: December 30, 2007, 11:22:14 PM by Nemesis »
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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2007, 11:23:17 PM »
Very sweet, beautiful and true.
I love it, Nemmi<3 bring us more lovely writings ^_^
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #15 on: December 30, 2007, 11:38:49 PM »
Indeed...it's very nice ^^

And I agree...more would be nice to see.
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

BlackCat

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #16 on: December 31, 2007, 12:33:24 AM »
It's very sweet.
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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #17 on: December 31, 2007, 01:27:26 AM »
that's really sweet. Now I'm gonna show it to her. =O
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #18 on: December 31, 2007, 02:34:55 AM »
Thanks ya'll... she liked it too.  :D
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #19 on: January 29, 2008, 01:26:27 AM »
So this was me just sitting in front of my computer, closing my eyes and typing... This is just what came out...

Help

I am lost in a world
Lost in the sound, the sight
This place has no feeling for me
I see the people I hear what they say but it's as if I'm not even there
They do not know me, they are not here
I am above them
I'm up in the air
I cannot see the ground
It fogs below my feet
I cannot see the ground
I am unsure where to leap
Hidden in circles and glances and people
This meaningless thing, no one can understand
These thoughts that run through my head
I don't know what to say
I don't know who these people are
I cannot focus they just keep tearing me down
GET OUT
I can't get away I can't get away
They'll never leave me alone...
I can't get way...
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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #20 on: January 29, 2008, 01:54:24 AM »
You should try leaving your room. It will explain the noises.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaallrriiiggghhhttttyyyy theeeennnnnnn....

It kinda reminds me of an ex. At least the voices in the head part.


Well written little sis.
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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #21 on: January 29, 2008, 02:07:15 AM »
I like it, onee-san. =3=
Your writing is so pretty and unique. I enjoy reading it <3
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2008, 08:59:24 PM »
This is the first of two.

The Showdown

Silence lays on the land thick and heavy
I cannot hear anyone, anything
My mind is closed
I walk through the dead town and the echo of my footsteps is almost obscene
Silence lays thick in the night, the darkness all but impenetrable
I can see the stars glittering in the night sky
Waiting
They're waiting for something, I know not what though
Their anticipation almost steals my breath
I walk through the town
Glancing at the closed up shops
I hear hurried footsteps and a shadow disappear around a corner
Probably a shop keeper trying to get out
They can feel it too, everyone can
Not just those of us that are gifted
There will be a showdown tonight
No one knows who will be the winner
But it lays thick in the air
The tension that everyone feels before a fight
That nearly tangible essence that can be ignited with a single word
No one wants to be out on the streets tonight
But I am
I will be there as a witness
I might be there as a contestant
I will not survive the night though
At least I will not come out the other end whole
I will be missing something intrinsic
Something so valuable that no matter who may come along in the future
They will still not fill this gaping hole
I will be broken, but I will heal
I will never again be the same
Not without you

I will write the second part to this tomorrow or the day after...
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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2008, 11:57:17 PM »

Nice...intriguing and interesting to say the least.
Umm, I assume now is tomorrow and you are going to post the second part right? Good, can't wait to see it. 
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #24 on: January 31, 2008, 01:03:14 AM »
So I maybe sorta lied a little... there will be at least one more installment to this set of poems...

Fog and Light

The land lays still
Silent can't begin to describe the landscape
There is an impatient air to the world
I can feel the earth's heart beat still

Complete.

Utter.

Silence.

The roar of the wind rushes past my face
Whipping my hair
Ripping at my clothes and the sword in my hand
The beat of the earth has begun again although something is different
There are more
Solid beats
Solid as the earth
The beats wash over me
They come
The contestants come
I see him first, the young one
He has come to watch
The darkness whirls at his back
He shall not participate
He will not referee
But he will watch, he will judge, and he will decide
The next has arrived
He is the older one
The one who guards our hearts and our dreams
The one who wakes and sees more than we
The white fog whirls around him, following him, caressing his skin
He waits, silent, still like a clear pond
Unruffled, unrippled

A tension fills the air
He stills, going utterly silent
Not a breath leaves him
Not a single sign to show he lives

She has arrived
A coalescence of light and color follow in her wake
Iridescent, shining like sunlit diamonds
The tension begins to fade
Sadness and frustration well up in its place
The darkness stands to the side, and I...
I await my part in this play
The fog and the mist begin to move in
The diamond light spreads as well
And when they touch it is like and explosion of color and mist
Like sun shining out through a foggy day
Driving away the haze, yet they seem to feed off of one another
Diamond light twisting and spinning and shining out through the mist
I glance back at her and see her tense
Her arms raise, her feet step apart
The dress I thought was white, is truly white, and yet not
It is all colors, clean, bright and shining
She leaps, and dives into the mist and light and fog
He reaches for her, hands outstretched
They both fall into the mist and fog and light
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #25 on: December 01, 2008, 12:30:49 AM »
Okay here's the deal... Since this is MY thread for MY writing I'm going to need a little assistance and response from you guys. I'm starting my whole new Major at my University and guess what... it's Creative Writing! Yay! So what I'm going to do is post my homework up here and I would love and appreciate it more than life if you would critique it and tell me what you think, any changes to be made, etc. This won't be happening for another month or so but when it does come around, I'd appreciate the feedback. I will be labeling them Homework: (insert title here), so everything else will be just me fooling around. Anyway... I'm off back to homework for a few hours. Adieu.
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Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #26 on: December 01, 2008, 02:01:00 AM »
Forgive me... it's a free write, thus the supreme lack of structure, refinement and any other all around polish and it's lack of title.

A scream rips through the night.

I am the one screaming.

I feel my soul split and rip into four pieces
Two travel into the fog and one remains with me
The last travels with the young dark stranger
Before leaving the clearing he locks his eyes on mine
I hear him whisper, “Follow me or the fog, but remain here and die.”
I followed the path less traveled by as it were
The strange man shrouded in black mists
I followed that absence of light for so long that I was sure the sun would rise
I followed through the woods, across a plain
I followed past a lake, across rivers, until we finally reached the sea
And still it remained dark, always dark, always night
I stood with him looking into the great blackness of the ocean
The solid wall of night that has me land locked
Surely there was no way through that hard, bottomless, black pit
Again he spoke, words brushing through my mind

They are children of the light, of the glories of the sun and they bathe in brightness
We are children of the dark, not some sick twisted thing,
 But we revel and glory in the moon and the shadows she throws
We are children of the dark and we thrive in pitch black moonless nights
The nights that force people inside, we are out dancing, living,thriving!
Do you trust yourself enough to let go of the light?

All I could do was nod
He held my hand, gently, but I knew I was caught, I would become a child of the dark
Forever.

I closed my eyes trying to feel through the pain that was the other half of my soul
I could feel them holding on to one another
They would never let go
The way the dark man would never let me go
We were tied

Reaching my senses to the man next to me, I was sucked into the blackness that surrounded him
I brushed a reservoir of darkness so deep it chilled me
Not evil necessarily, simply blackness
A neutrality that was purely and absolutely neutral
He had no tendency towards either side, he was… simply what he was

The man in the mists was Good through and through
He was a warrior and a protector
A savior
A man who needed to be saved
A man who needed someone to fight for him
A man who needed someone to protect him

She… well she was other. She was both shining good and swirling evil
She was good with an evil streak
A bright black line going through that beautiful iridescent essence
A line of cruelty that was intrinsic to her
Not a thing acquired but a thing from birth
Natural, evil, beautiful, terrifying

And I knew now what I was gifted with
I know myself and I know I try and be good but my thoughts are dark, dark, dark
A good streak lines through my evil nature.
A iridescent, pearlescent, blinding line of goodness
Something I cling to so that I don’t get sucked into the black, black, black
Maybe it was time though
Time to let go and see what my darkness held for me
To see what demons would come out of the recesses of my heart

Time will only tell

This is either a continuation of my last two poems or... well something else all together. I opened up a word document and this is what came out.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2008, 02:02:51 AM by Nemesis »
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #27 on: December 01, 2008, 07:27:49 PM »

Wow, I'm trying to articulate a decent reply to this, and trying to keep myself objective at the same time. Which my friend, is extremely hard to do, when paragraph 6 and 7 remind me so very much of a few people very close to you.

I completely love the imagery, and the feel to this. It has a mysterious side to it, a foggy shroud as it were, yet...somehow, I can easily see what it is you were trying to convey with your words.

I will also agree with your statement about it being unstructured and unrefined, but at the same time, I have to wonder if a rewrite wouldn't actually ruin the feel I get from this? In some ways, it kind of reminds me of a soliloquy, or maybe ones own diary entry. And in saying that, structure isn't really all that important now is it? ^^

Either way, it's a perfect follow up to your other two poems, and punctuation aside...I love it  :)

More please <_<



   
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #28 on: December 01, 2008, 07:40:43 PM »
Bugger off my punctuation. I wasn't going for grammatically correct. Like i said, I just sat down and this is what appeared.

Thank you though. ^_______^
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #29 on: December 01, 2008, 07:47:42 PM »

As you wish my friend  :P

Hey, how about finishing the first post sometime? <_<
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

Nemesis

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Re: Musings and Inspirations.. by Nemesis and Night
« Reply #30 on: December 01, 2008, 09:30:35 PM »
What...? What post? <_<
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