Tale of the Cave

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Author Topic: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?  (Read 4965 times)

OnewingedDragon

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Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« on: July 09, 2007, 07:25:15 PM »
A sharp word.
Blows thrown.
A cry for help.
Silence known.

A weary ear.
Bent anew.
Same old song.
Never through.

A dream ruined.
Faith broken.
Glimmer of hope.
Mere token.
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2007, 07:37:19 PM »
Hmm...there is so much I want to say about this my friend.  Aside from it being short, and too the point, I can totally relate.  Nicely done ^^
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

RedAxie

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2007, 03:00:49 PM »
That's really nice, OwA. Short and sweet n__n
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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2007, 03:47:41 PM »
It was kinda spur of the moment. Most of my writing is like that. Whatever is in my head at the time.
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2007, 03:49:18 PM »
*snickers*

O RLY?
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

OnewingedDragon

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2007, 05:06:52 PM »
Falling.

"So this is what it feels like" He thought. "I expected it to be more frightening somehow."

The man turned his body in mid air, as he tensed his muscles during the rotation he noticed an odd feeling in his back. Reaching over, he felt stumps of might have been wings.

"Wings? I don't remember ever having wings." He wondered. A glimmer of a memory, one that seemed a lifetime ago, of powerful wings. He tried harder to remember, but the memory seemed to melt in on itself.

Looking down, he could see the ground rushing up to meet him. He seemed completely calm. He began counting down.

5..4..3..2..1...

"AAH!"

John sat upright in bed, covered in sweat. That was the third time this week he's had that dream.

Knowing he'd be unable to sleep for the rest of the night, John got out of bed and walked out to the stables. The horses always calmed him down.

As he walked into the stables, a he slowed, something wasn't quite right in the air. An almost... psychic emanation of something malicious.

Quick as thought, he drew his sword and swung behind him, only to have it blocked and skip off of metal in a shower of sparks. Fortunately, they provided enough light for John to see his adversary.

"Royce." he said without emotion.

"Hello John." Royce responded as he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on. A slow, lazy smile stole across his face.

"What brings you out to the stables tonight?" Trouble sleeping?" He asked with just the hint of a sneer.

"What would you know about that?" John asked, worried that he already knew the answer to that question.

Royce grinned as he leaned back against the stable wall. "I know what frightens you."

John raised his sword and took a step forward, "What would you know ab-" A loud crash from the other end of the stables interrupted him. He turned his head for a moment to find the source of the sound, and when he turned back, Royce had vanished.

Cursing, he sheathed his sword and continued down the stables towards his horse.
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2007, 09:20:28 PM »
Hmm...

I do not even know where to begin with this you know.  Quite simply, well...you could have easily extracted that from my head (<_<), or posted it as me, and no one would have known the difference. 

Now please don't misunderstand me, I am not at all saying it is a copy, or plagarized or anything of the sort, but simply due to the fact it is similar in theme to what I write, I think I am going to wait for the next part (as it so obviously is incomplete at the moment) to comment on the plot and content.

Needless to say…I like what I see so far ^^
« Last Edit: July 10, 2007, 09:22:40 PM by Fallen Angel »
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

ScienceFair

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2007, 09:37:27 PM »
It literally seems like something that could of been extracted from a professionally written book, atleast in my opinion.  The only qualm I have with it whatsoever. other than typos I won't bother to point out, is that occasionally your wording was so unusual I had to re-read it repeatedly to understand it... such as this: "
he drew his sword and swung behind him, only to have it blocked and skip off of metal in a shower of sparks.

At first I didn't know if he'd dropped it or what skipping meant... but I'm pretty sure now that it either hit some other sword or armor of some sort?  It's really quite unclear, but that's okay. 

Good show old boy.
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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2007, 12:19:54 AM »
I purposely left it vague, but apparently vague(er)? than I thought.

I appreciate the professional compliment. I drew on some writing styles of some of my favorite authors, but it's still my own evolution. Next part coming soon. I hope.  :)
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WhiteRoxie

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2007, 03:47:54 AM »
I like the first one, it's very simple, but effective. And the second one is quite well written. Nice work.
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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2007, 11:41:17 AM »
Well... I had a nice second part all written up when Firefox decided it no longer wanted to remain open. Therefore I have lost all interest in furthering the storyline for the day. Stupid animal.

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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2007, 03:47:05 PM »
"I'm in. "Me too" "Fold" "Too rich for my blood"

Other similar statements are issued around the table.

10 men and women sit in a well lit, clean room, the only scent permeating the air is delivered through an incense burner on the far wall. A painting of a pregnant woman adorn's one wall, highlighting the electric fireplace.

"Well?" rumbles one man and ten pairs of eyes turn to the lone child in the room.

"Not. Gonna. PLAY!" he yells at the adults around him.

The man stands up and grabs the child off the floor, placing him in the center of the table, "I gave you a chance little one." he says, with a voice like stones being ground to dust.

"What a cute little child, my girls will love having an older brother." A woman coos as she tickles the bottom of his feet.

Quick as a snake, the child lashes out, kicking the womans hand away and missing her nose by a handsbreadth.

"You little bitch! I'll show you some respect!" She reaches out and slaps the boy hard enough to make his head snap.

"You fold." The gravel box rumbles. The woman's mouth drops open, "But he hit me!"  The man shook his head, "And why does that give you the right to hit him back? You fold."

Glaring, the woman throws down her cards. As she reaches for the money on the table, the man reaches out and grabs her hand in a firm grip. She opens her mouth to argue, but shut's it quickly at the look in his eye. Grabbing her personal effects, she leaves the room.

After the door closes with a boom, the man looks around for a moment, daring anyone else to try him, then sit's back down to resume the game.

"Last hand of the night." The man announces.

At that statement two more people fold and leave quietly. The only remaining are the man with the gravelly voice, a woman who has spent too much time in a jewelry store, and two more men, one of which could have called the police at a moment's notice to shut this little game down. The commissioner looked at his cards one more time before pushing everything he had into the pot. "I'm all in," he announces, seemingly pleased with himself

"How much?" The other man asks.

"$12 mil."

The remainging lady ponder's for a moment, then looks at her winnings and at her cards. Without a word she removes all her jewelry and pushes it in with her money as well.

"Also all in for 12."

The 3rd man, without thinking about it, pushes most of his winnings in. "Call"

Finally, the host's turn is here, he also pushes in $12 million. "Call"

The Commissioner lays his hand out: Ace, Ace, Queen, Queen, Queen. "Full House, queen high"

The woman throws her hand down in disgust but doesn't leave, her curiosity getting the best of her.

The third man lays his hand out: 4 Jacks. "Four of a kind, Jacks."

The commissioner grumbles something about cheaters.

Finally the host, who lays his hand out: 6,7,8,9,10 of hearts. "Straight flush 10 high."

The commissioner turn's red faced. "You f***ing cheated!" He exclaims and reaches into his jacket. The room explodes into chaos.

Quick as a thought, the child lashes out with his barefoot again, this time hitting what he aimed for, the Commissioner's throat. As the commissioner stagger's back, gasping for breath through a crushed larynx, the third man stands up, pulling a gun out of a shoulder holster just as the woman pulls one from her purse. Instead of aiming at the host as she does, the man turns his gun on the woman and open's fire, splattering blood and gray matter over the now gurgling commissioner.

The door open's and in walks the woman who slapped the boy. "Well, now didn't that become quite the messy performance."

The boy sticks his tongue at the woman. "It's not my fault the man was stupid mom." He looks over at the host. "Did I do good?"

The man smiles, his voice getting lighter and less rough, "You did excellent son." Looking over at his brother. "Well?"

"Not quite the way I would have done it, but effective nevertheless." He responds, "Now let's get the hell out of here."
« Last Edit: July 11, 2007, 04:13:11 PM by OneWingedAngel »
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #12 on: July 11, 2007, 04:22:13 PM »
LMAO...a perfectly well written version of a 'Grift' I had not heard yet. 

Zomg what a bratty child though <_<

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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

WhiteRoxie

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2007, 07:21:39 PM »
More proof that children are, in fact, the evillest things in the universe.

Cleverly written, though.
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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Writings, Ramblings, and ...?
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2007, 06:56:27 PM »
Ever intertwining, apart but always combining.
Different places, different faces.
None alike, but all the same.
A broken heart, tears burn on all.
Love blossoms, all rise higher.
Each is unique, each is shared.
One or two or three or four.
One are many and many are one.
Many lives, one life.
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