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Author Topic: Dan's Writings  (Read 2668 times)

Gnaborretni

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Dan's Writings
« on: July 12, 2007, 12:11:05 AM »
Not only did this seem like the popular thing to do, but I feel like I should be writing. Also, I'm avoiding an RP post. So here's my writing thread! = O

However, I'm somewhat sadistic, and feel that people should feel some pain and frustration. So you kiddies don't get a nice, easy to navigate table of contents from me. Also, and mostly, because I'm lazy.

So, without further introduction, here's my writing thread. Hope you enjoy it, and don't forget to wipe your feet at the door.



Room 67

I had just arrived in the city, after two weeks from hell.

It had started with the shooting. My sweetheart had just picked me up from the airport. We were on our way home, when the traffic light suddenly changed from green to red. The car in front of us skidded to a stop, and we were not nearly as fast. She crashed into the car's back end, although the collision happened at such a low speed that no damage, aside from a few scratches, had been caused. That fact did not clue in on the man whose car we had hit, however, and he stomped out of his car in a rage, walking towards our own with a belligerent attitude. He walked to her door, and ripped it open, and began to yell at her. Things escalated, and despite all my sweetheart said to mollify him, he was still furious. He pulled out a gun, and shot her. As she lay dying, the man seemed to finally understand the situation, and the gravity of the action which he just committed. His next target was himself. I sat there for what seemed like hours, just still, unable to act. An emergency worker eventually pulled me out of my stupor, where I was rushed to a hospital, released shortly after once they figured I was alright.

That sleepless night was the most lonely I had ever been in my life.

In the morning, I phoned my work, to tell them I could not come in for the rest of the week, due to what had happened. I had worked at a technology firm, whose founders could seem to do no wrong. I was a rising star in the company, and expected to reach an executive position within the next few years. However, that day, it seemed that if anything could go wrong for them, it did. Their stocks dropped like a clumsy mule on a trail in the Grand Canyon. It was unprecedented. They were forced to declare bankruptcy, and they did not even have enough money to give severance to any of their employees.

It was only eight o'clock, but I figured it was late enough. I rummaged through my liquor cabinet, and less than 20 minutes later, I was in a drunken stupor. Later I could figure out what to do, but at the moment I just needed a release.

The smell of charcoal and the sound of fire woke me up. My apartment was on fire! Forcing myself to think clearly, I gathered what I could, and fled the apartment complex.

In a nearby hotel, I got a room, where I dropped all my stuff and collapsed on the bed, utterly drained from all that had happened with the last twenty-hour hours.
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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2007, 01:06:37 AM »
Busy man.

Just out of curiosity, does the room number have an significance?
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WhiteRoxie

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2007, 01:29:38 AM »
Damn, you know, what a totally sucky day. But, you write really well!

And RP dammit.
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Chevalier-Ange

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2007, 06:10:56 PM »
Totally sucky indeed  :-\
...but yes, very well written ^^

<insert critique>
An emergency worker eventually pulled me out of my stupor, where I was rushed to a hospital, released shortly after once they figured I was alright.

The 'only after once' part just doesnt seem to sit right though.  Dunno, it could just be the way I am reading it, but...it sounds structured wrong.

Oh, and one last thing my creative friend. 

RP DAMMIT!!!!!
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Take me with you, we will fly across the sea
To the land of the sun where our journeys begun
All fear is gone, we sail until the dawn
Deepest fears will burn inside your mind
For the souls lost in endless time


Their story shall be told in another time...another place

OnewingedDragon

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2007, 06:44:45 PM »
Hey now, never rush the creative process.
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ScienceFair

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2007, 08:49:49 PM »
A perfect example as to why I prefer not to let my wife drive.
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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2007, 08:59:11 PM »
I'm gonna go with that's why I'm not married...yet
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WhiteRoxie

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2007, 10:21:17 PM »
Hey! Girls can drive! And if I could drive and drive all over you. Just wait until I get a license. Hmph.
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ScienceFair

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2007, 10:31:06 PM »
You're only supporting my concern... I have no issue with girls being able to drive... just certain people are scary when they drive... like my wife.  >.>
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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2007, 10:32:18 PM »
SF: 1
WN: 0

You should do a door 68 and then make a story from all the people in these rooms right next to each other.
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Gnaborretni

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2007, 10:46:01 PM »
I'm honestly not sure where I am going, although I would like to think we will see more of this character.

I wasn't done, you know. This was more of a prologue than anything.

Don't think he gets off that easy...
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Grey

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #11 on: July 13, 2007, 12:33:31 AM »
Girls can do anything.

You're one of those writers that enjoys being cruel to their characters aren't you.... Oh well, he's your character, I look forward to seeing more horrible things happen to him in the future.

RP!
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Gnaborretni

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2007, 10:04:16 PM »
Hmm. I never really thought about it, but I guess I am a sadistic writer. I mean, in the last story I wrote, I had a guy crushed to death by a falling roof, and not one, but two people savagely murdered over a chunk of scrap metal.

Although, I can say this. Things will eventually pick up for this guy. Sorta.
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OnewingedDragon

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2007, 03:18:58 PM »
How much worse could it get?
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WhiteRoxie

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Re: Dan's Writings
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2007, 09:01:29 PM »
You really shouldn't have said that. Now it's gonna get WAY worse.
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